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Many mornings, because my family in Barbados was still asleep four time zones away, I called the Good Samaritans, to talk to strangers about how I was feeling. I wanted someone to listen to me and say that someday everything may be okay. In the listener’s unique way, they said, “maybe the light at the end of the tunnel ain’t a train. The light at the end of the tunnel was a beacon of hope for a brighter future. To the 2 TEDx talks, speaking contracts, writing jobs, time in Barbados, and sharing whatever financial treasure may come my way in the future.

So today, as I talk about how to pursue your dreams in my final article, I want to share with you some lessons I have written about in previous articles:

1. No one knows what they are doing, and that is completely okay. 

We wake up every day, and we do our best to move towards our purpose. When things go wrong, take a rest; go easy on yourself. When things go right, take a rest, then look for ways to improve them while remaining humble. I find it incredibly important to take the pressure off ourselves and focus on incremental improvement towards our goals. You are moving in the correct direction, and doing a good job. Be gentle with yourself.

2. In your darkest moment, remind yourself that “you are planted, not buried.”

I saw this on Facebook during that time, and it is such a simple visual that helped me see all the struggle as a part of the process. As cheesy as it sounds, the 300 ft redwood tree was once a buried seed. If it had always been in the sunlight, it would not have grown. A bit of time in the darkness was the right condition to set it on its way to a fruitful life.

3. “Good timber does not grow with ease: The stronger wind, the stronger trees.“ — Douglas Malloch.

A small excerpt from his poem Good Timber. Even after the tree starts growing, strong winds make the tree more resilient. You were the seed, now you are the tree, and it is not always easy or without stress or wind, but if you evaluate your actions honestly and with vulnerability, you can continue to grow stronger.

4. Share your hard days.

Social media has become an echo chamber of highlight reels. Only sharing photos of the walk in the park or fun time with friends is an inaccurate representation of real life. Without sharing hard days, how are we to know we are all just living the human experience, and all go through good and bad times? Further, it is good to look back on those times and see how far you have come. Every October and November, I get time hop notifications from 2013 when I was waiting for my US H1B work visa approval in Barbados. It reminds me of the work that was necessary to build my life and all the intentional steps along the way.

5. Continuously express gratitude.

I can’t emphasize this one enough. There are so so many people who are there for us when things are difficult. When things go eventually succeed, we often forget to reach out and let them know how important they were in our struggle and success. It is a humbling experience to realize how much we need others, and we must recognize those who joined us on our journey. They will greatly appreciate the gesture, memories, and kind words.

With that, Sandra, Stanley, Thomas, Joel, Andrea, Eve, Gary, Zach, Sherry, Terre, Fi, Angie, Daniel, Mummy, and Daddy Clarke, thank you very much. Beale Family, you welcomed a man you never met for Christmas into your home for a few days, and I am forever grateful. I was incredibly close to giving up and leaving England, but your kindness to me and excitement about my career choice and ideas kept me going.